Comments on: Coping

By: Theresa "Tree"

Sun, 07 Apr 2019 06:11:09 +0000

Eli,

You need to seek help as soon as possible. If you need help tracking down a good TRAUMA counselor, please feel free to contact me at: admin@accidentalcasualties.com

I know you shut down your social media but we have a closed/ private/ screened support group you can link to by clicking the Facebook icon/little blue box at: accidentalcasualties.com. You have to provide some screening questions as it is for CADIs or their parents, only. We have some psychological support from professionals in group but also speaking with others there who understand is EXCEPTIONALLY helpful in healing. All of the people in the group of now 90 or so are experiencing the same grief, etc. as yourself and are exceptionally caring and empathetic. With the combination of a trauma counselor I think you’ll find it of great use to you.

Please feel free to join us. We’d be glad to have and support you. Please don’t try and work through this alone! :::big hugs:::

-Theresa “Tree”

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By: feeling horrible

Tue, 26 Mar 2019 19:43:04 +0000

I hit an elderly lady yesterday morning. I was waiting to make a left turn. I looked and saw no one in the crosswalk. My light was green and the red hand was on. After letting a car going in the opposite direction pass. I proceeded to make a left turn. I was going maybe 5miles per hour. As soon as I saw the elderly woman I slammed on my breaks. I believe I didn’t hit her going at 5 miles. I am almost positive that the jolt from slamming on my breaks was what hit this elderly woman. She fell. I Immediately called 911 and rushed to her aid. She was refusing to go to the hospital and was pleading for me not to contact 911. She was alert and oriented. She was finally convinced to go to the hospital. Today I was told that she had 2 fractured ribs. I feel horrible since I know that due to her age recovery is hard and she can face complications. I feel guilty and hope that no complication occur. I spoke to a counselor and my church’s father. Both have told me to forgive myself it was an accident. Even the police and paramedics on the scene told me not to worry that she was well and accidents happen. I am more fearful that she can die from complications due to her age. She is also very well known in the school my daughter goes to. I am ashamed and embarrassed. I read not to make any drastic decisions after a traumatic event. But I really want to take my daughter out of school and place her elsewhere. I feel horrible having to face everyone knowing that I hit someone everyone knows. ]]>

By: Denny

Sun, 03 Mar 2019 02:46:16 +0000

I had a very similar accident several years ago. It took some time, but I was eventually able to forgive myself.
I would be happy to talk to you and share my experiences with you.

Denny

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By: Sally

Mon, 11 Feb 2019 11:36:43 +0000

I ran a red light too and got hit in the process. I don’t remember the light being red but witnesses say it was. Everyone was okay but my little girl was in the car and I can’t get the sound of her screaming out of my head. I also feel like I want to die and feel like I am a worthless human being, feelings I have always had but they are even worse now. I guess we all make mistakes. I would imagine that everyone has run a red light at some point but sometimes we are lucky and no one is coming and sometimes we are not. I really need someone to tell me this too, but you just made a mistake, human error. Maybe because of this we will both become more careful drivers and this will help us to save ourselves and others from a more serious incident that could have happened because now we will be so so careful. Maybe everything happens for a reason. ]]>

By: KM

Sat, 09 Feb 2019 02:16:06 +0000

Please find a professional to speak to or call the helpline on this website. My daughter felt better after just one session. ]]>

By: Eli

Fri, 04 Jan 2019 01:02:04 +0000

Dec 30, 2018.
I’m a college student who doesn’t drink or do drugs.

I drove home from one county to another to have a family dinner which I had been looking forward to for a while. My dad had come back home from across the country and we haven’t had a family dinner with everyone present for about a year or so. I rushed home after work only to find out that my older sister went out with her friend and my mom was with her siblings in another city. I was upset, more so with my mom because I told her about dinner twice the morning of. I called her and she wasn’t apologetic, but when I got upset with her, she yelled at me saying she’d come home if that’s what I wanted. It wasn’t. I wanted a happy family dinner.

I left home to go back to my apartment in the next county and decided to have dinner myself. Throughout the drive I’ve been thinking whether or not I should’ve stayed home. Should I have just had dinner with my dad and younger brother? Would that have been better? I grabbed food at a local supermarket and was about 5 miles away before reaching my apartment. I don’t know how; I don’t really remember how I missed it, but I didn’t see the red light and t boned a car. I was going about 45-50 mph, a little over the speed limit. Everything was my fault.

I crawled out there back door and a few passerbys helped me sit on the curb. The police and firefighters arrived almost immediately and began questioning me. I wanted to check up on the other victim to see her situation but the officials wouldn’t allow me to.

I was transported to the hospital via ambulance and noticed a few people with camera equipment filling me, all while firefighters tried ripping open her door cause it wasn’t opened. It took about 15 minutes but she was taken to a separate hospital afterwards.

I had a couple of deep abrasions and bruises but none compared to how I emotionally felt. I felt like I should’ve died. I didn’t know how to cope with everything. After tests were ran, I was left alone for a few hours and in those hours, I had a lot of time to think. How is the woman? How were her injuries? Is it critical? She could’ve been at home spending time with her family…it was almost new year’s Eve. Why did I leave home? Why did I get so upset? Why am I like this? I just wanted a family dinner. I hate myself so much. I should just die.

I didn’t notify any family members because I was too ashamed. My anxiety didn’t make things better either. But somehow my sister caught wind of what happened and came to my section. I refused to see her and after an hour, I allowed her to come in. Apparently when she called me, the tow guy picked up and told her the situation. I was dismissed after about 5 hours and we headed to my apartment. Everything seemed okay at first until the next day when my parents came by. I couldn’t show my face; I didn’t want to. I caused so much trouble and coming from a low income family, I knew how financially straining the situation was. I told my sister I wanted to be alone and so she went back home with my dad.

The next few days, including now, I’ve been having breakdowns and would begin crying hilariously. I hated myself. I tried forgetting about this feeling by watching random shows but when night fell, I would become extremely depressed. I barely have an appetite and have no motivation to do anything. I keep having flashes of the incident when I missed the light and crashed into the car a second afterwards.

I isolated myself from everyone and deleted all my social media platforms. I didn’t respond to any messages or calls I received. I wanted to be alone and sleep for a long time. I has suicidal thoughts, which was nothing new throughout my life.

I thought my sister understood. I told her everything I felt when I let her into my section.. About how ashamed and guilty I felt. How I couldn’t face others.. But yesterday she began chastising me. How could I treat family this way? How awful I’m being? I don’t know..I began crying and couldn’t stop for the next hour.

It’s hard for me to cope. Shortly after the incident, I don’t even know who I hit, or how many people were in the order vehicle. It’s because I eventually found the video of the incident that I was about to see exactly who I got. She was the only person in the car and appeared to be in her 20s-30s. I don’t even know her condition right now. How can I be okay?

I want to feel okay. I want to be assured that everything is okay…that I don’t have to feel like trash anymore. The only way that I thought would end these feelings was if I wasn’t alive anymore, but a part if me knows I shouldn’t think that way. Please help. How can I cope with all this?

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By: SW

Sun, 11 Nov 2018 22:54:36 +0000

Three days ago. I hit a man or a motorcycle. I was coming up a hill and didn’t see him I think preparing to turn. I wasn’t on my phone, or texting. I just didn’t see him. He was breathing when I stopped and others began helping. He died on the scene. I am greatul that there were amazing people on the scene helping them and praying for us both and helping me. I have walked away with just whiplash. I have an amazing support system but I literally feel broken hearted and still with all the support alone. I am thankful to know, at least in this space, I am not. I don’t know who he is or anything about his family situation. I just want them to know I am grieving with them, many prayed intensely for him and I am more sorry than words can ever explain and praying for them too. Every tear I shed includes a prayer and tear with for them. ]]>

By: Cheryl

Sun, 07 Oct 2018 06:27:25 +0000

I also was in a fatal accident with a motorcycle. The rider was killed on impact. It’s devastating. I had an emotional break down. I didnt sleep eat and I cried for 3 days. I was afraid to drive. And once I started to drive I was afraid of motorcycles. I’m slowly getting my self back together. I Thank my family for helping me through the tough time I was going through. But counseling is where I’m going to help me cope. It’s easy to have flashbacks. I need to learn how to handle them. I found the more I talked about the better I felt. I t didn’t happen over night healing takes time. Get some counselling. ]]>

By: Denys Snodgrass

Wed, 03 Oct 2018 02:20:04 +0000

Dear Richard:

My son was driving in a residential neighborhood, turned left and hit what he did not realize at the time was a man on a motorcycle. The man died on the way to the hospital. My son, like you, has not been able to sleep and is basically feels numb most days.

I pray for you and everyone else on this forum, as I hope you will pray for my son.
God bless you!

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By: Grateful

Sun, 16 Sep 2018 17:15:49 +0000

Tuesday, all I can say is thank you for your post! I don’t know who you are but what you posted on April 14, 2018, helped me in profound ways. I printed out what you wrote and I read it every time I feel shaky. Please know that you helped at least one person (me), but I suspect and hope others see your post and find the measure of peace like I did. You made the difference whoever you are. THANK YOU! ]]>